Asia-Kismet

He who has an ear...let him hear....word.

2011-04-07T20:31:00.000-07:00

We will not give you anymore heroes,
anymore icons,
anymore more historic figures
for you to disembowel
their struggles
their fights
their courage
only to leave a rotting corpse
of disdainful character.

They are gods,
they are human
they are the messiahs
as are we

you will never
discredit
our lineage.

we are free.

inside out

2010-03-20T23:01:00.000-07:00

I keep replaying those last moments. I remember standing with you on the balcony overlooking the water and boats docked near by. We shared a kiss. And i tried to memorize the moment. [As i always do.] Memorizing the position of the sun. Taking note of the breeze. Mapping the clouds. And the only memory that i can recall with clarity, is how everything faded into the warmth of our kiss.

on some real shit

2010-01-13T03:34:00.000-08:00

it was easier when i didn't expect for you to love me. i was able to hide behind a shield, i was able to guard my heart. i am too vulnerable, too easily hurt now.

I question things. Have i over romanticized this relationship to a fault? and now that it is under close examination and scrutiny...are cracks being exposed?

i just want us to get along. i just want us to love without hesitation. i want us to just be.

shuffle

2010-01-11T09:17:00.000-08:00

I put my cards on the table.
and walked away.
he asked me why i was leaving the game.
i said "i'm tired of playing hearts
and always losing."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
sigh

a start

2009-12-29T15:49:00.000-08:00

i am fragile,
but resilient.
although your actions have fractured my heart
i have learned home remedies to mend it
these mixtures of time and sage sayings
applied to open wounds
sting at first contact
but soon soothe the soul
from the wanderings of memories gone astray

the distance is all too familiar
even when you are within reach
i hesitate to touch you
often wearing the scars of past loves on my finger tips
and they have become bold
gathering on mounts
highlighted in sunday sermons
shouting, and jumping,
praising the suffering-
a congregation of hurt.

but i shall overcome...

Loose change

2009-12-23T18:37:00.000-08:00

It's been sometime, You've probably forgotten who i am. Somedays, I feel as if i have forgotten me as well. So many changes have been going on in my life. I chose to follow my heart, leave...I know it was the right thing to do. I couldn't stay and pretend any longer. I couldn't keep denying myself. i'm far from perfect. i hope you'll appreciate the honesty.

I revamped the blog a little. no longer is it "earthquakes for snowflakes"-that chapter has closed.

so here's a toast to new beginnings and growth.

guess what?

2009-07-30T18:55:00.001-07:00

i'm going back go cali. so this chapter of my life is over...good bye NY see ya when i see ya.
can't wait to get back to the beaches and the sun.

.one.

2009-07-08T08:24:00.000-07:00

i don't understand.
you said you love me
but you have written testaments to another.
i am a jealous god[dess].
my only intentions,
simple as they maybe,
were to love you.

have you forgotten the power of the written language.
even in jest,
ideas and concepts are birthed.
damn.
we should have used protection.
maybe then my heart wouldn't be broken.

heart breaks
births
pain
this is love?
in its infancy
needy
up until today
i was using the wrong metaphors
to describe us
i am wiser now
no longer will i misplace my adjectives for nouns

social ineptitude...now what?

2009-06-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

It isn't just an issue in the black community. And to reason that it is the result of one cause is naive. A lot of variables go into play why these issues exist in our communities [whether they're white...black...etc]. It's systemic. And we've only been treating the symptoms rather than the causes.

I understand the reasoning behind the slave mentality...and i dont knock it, i know it's just a part of an explanation but not the whole explanation itself. My community experienced a war. where children were taken from their mothers and fathers and indoctrinated in the dismantling of the family unit. And i know these issues are still fresh in the psyche of my community and it's repressed memory of such trials.

I could even propose that this "social ineptitude" could be due to the social structuring of governments and their programs. Low income housing that promotes single mother households...child support...are just a few examples of this.

hear me out. in isreal there was a day care that wanted to eliminate parents from picking up their children late. it was an inconvenience for the teacher who had to stay behind until the child was picked up. So...they implemented a fine for picking up the child late in an attempt to curb this trend. Instead of the desired effect, more children were being picked up late as people started to assess the fine as a fee. This concept has transcended into parenthood. Where fathers are required to pay monetary funds to compensate for their lack of involvement in their child's life. [i see the need for child support, don't get me wrong...i'm just trying to show how it can be misconstrued]

now i understand that with bad decisions, come bad outcomes. That's nothing new. But what's the cause of these bad decisions? is it lack of education? is it lack of support? is it the lack of moral responsibility or maybe just a lack of morals in general? and once those causes are identified...how will we go about treating the issues?

one man gang started the discussion click here to view
Assertive wit's take on the issue click here to view

The truth

2009-06-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't been any where near a writing mood. Everything seems so coerced or contrived. I'm trying my best to break out of this funk.

I guess going through so many transitions at once can ultimately be draining. I try to find my peace in little things along the day. But sometimes they don't seem enough.
change is good...right?

-dear god(dess),
i have not been honest
and have hidden my dreams from you
forgive my sacrilege
accept my atonement
i now know...
the importance
of
love.-

journal.

2009-06-05T13:55:00.000-07:00

trying to find inspiration.
looking to the universe for guidance
it only takes one spark to start a fire

i'm learning to follow my heart. my bliss. my love.
i have to trust in love again.
i have to trust myself again.
things will be okay.
love will see us through.
this isn't easy.
but i need to do this.
please understand.

art.is.art

2009-05-13T15:02:00.000-07:00

I know this is mad late...
I went to that art exhibition on the 26th of april and was captured by the images i saw. I got to meet marcia jones and she is just as magical and lovely as I imagined. It was really nice to be able to look at the artwork and then turn to the side and look at the artist. [gotta admit that was pretty dope] I knew i was going to love what Ms. Jones had brought to the table [hi have we met I've sorta been stalking her art for awhile now]. But i also was met with a surprise when I saw a painting i really liked...

it is by Laura Meyers and is titled "you all look the same to me"

anyways i'm going to post a video of marcia jones

the unscene - marcia jones part 1 from pierre bennu on Vimeo.

How magical is she...[dreams]

see why i love her spirit. okay that's all for now. ;)

a new era

2009-04-17T19:33:00.001-07:00

I've said good-bye to my PC. I've converted over to the Mac side. while reminiscing with a fellow mac user...i realized the last time i used a mac i was possibly in 1st grade, back then DOS was a major operating system for computers, floppy discs were really floppy...and my only concern was that i hoped my mom didn't put crunchy peanut butter in my PBJ sandwich. Times have changed since then. i no longer have a teddy ruxpin lunchpail and i'm making lunches now.

I just would like to add that Best Buy's geeksquad protection thingy that they have for laptops is very good. Prior to this i had a vaio. i bought it a couple years prior along with the 3 year extended protection plan thingy they have...and since the vaio was going to cost more to fix than it was worth they let me choose a laptop up to the value of what i paid...and so my relationship with the Mac begins. So far so good.

arghhhh matey

2009-04-15T15:57:00.000-07:00

the pirate situation

My political views lean a little [my little is really a lot] towards the left.
being that i moved to the sticks of NY i rarely get to listen to my independent radio station the way i would like to. Hmm...and i think the only station they have out here to my liking is NPR.

but anyways...I've been away from this blogging thing for a minute. happy a few familiar faces from cali peeped through NYC and i felt at home for a minute :) it was really nice.

and i just want to make it official...i'm converting to apple. so YAY for the macbook on it's way. i'll probably wait till i get that before i start blogging more. i'm still sort of sad that i lost all my pictures on the last laptop. hopefully the kids will forgive me. :(
i feel like such a horrible mother for that...but atleast i got a few things posted on myspace and stuff right? oh well. can't sweat that stuff. but that just goes to show you...i need to have a healthy distrust for the digital.

well i hope everyone's been doing well...it's mid week...the weekends almost here :)

it's been a minute.

2009-04-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

or two...but a lot of things have changed...a lot of things have not

one being: i still love mos def

one more thing
all my folks in NYC come out to this...
"Women's Voices / Women's Visions"
A concert celebrating women's contributions to the arts

Sunday, April 26th, 2009
St. Mark’s Church in-the-Bowery
131 E. 10th Street (@ 2nd Ave.)
2:00 PM

Musique à la Mode is excited to present their 2nd annual “Women’s Voices / Women’s Visions” event on April 26th, a fusion of sight and sound that will feature some of New York’s finest women composers and visual artists. Ten women visual artists will be selected to display their work during the concert on a theme of “dissonance and female experience”, alongside a program of music by Jennifer Higdon, Lari Laitman, Shulamit Ran, among others. In addition, Tara Helen O’Connor, one of New York City’s most sought after flutists will be a featured performer on the concert.

Musique à la Mode invites women artists to apply for the show. Please see details here.

Tickets are $15 advance (available online at http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/57141) and $20 at the door (cash only). Limited $10 student tickets are available with valid I.D. For more information, please email us at info@musiquealamode.com

well anyways one of these days i'll do a real blog...right now i just feel like waiting for the weather to warm up a bit.

the physics of love [journal 3]

2009-03-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

the gravity of our potential
is the equivalent
to us falling in love.

*you might need a slight appreciation for science to get that.

it's like learning the reasons for every love song/poem/movie ever written all at once. this is what this feels like. and i love it. life is truly magical...and anyone who would tell you different has probably never truly lived.

numb.

2009-03-22T04:31:00.001-07:00

I haven't been feeling like blogging lately.
but thought i'd drop a few things your way...that you might could enjoy.

Now i am by no means a fan of lil wayne...but i am a fan of pharrell so here's a track you might want
or might not who cares...atleast i offered it to ya'all. [beggars can't be choosers]

here it is your welcome.

and since i'm feeling generous. Here's the Blu and J*Davey track...you all should know how much i love my cali folk.

so...cali is the shit and the stank...take it all in.

Enjoy.

-AK out this

addicted to music.

2009-03-05T14:46:00.000-08:00

bilal = heroin music

[back in 1995]

fuck crack...bilal is that good.

*i know it's pointless to argue about music...because everyone has their taste and preferences...but seriously if you can't fuck with bilal...i can't really fuck with you.

when did...

2009-02-27T06:24:00.000-08:00

...typing things out become passe?

smh
omg
um...idk?

STFU!

Spend the extra half second. Type it out.
Realize what you are saying becomes that much more insignificant with the implementation of those acronyms.
Know the difference between an acronym and an abbreviation.

rant done.

it's all relative

2009-02-25T18:41:00.001-08:00

Journal2
introducing the children:

Asia-Kismet

Lauren

Kahlil

It hits me every now and again that I am a mother. The gravity of which seems overbearing. I often wonder what kind of creative forces reside within them. Will they be the ones who find the Higgs boson? Will they revolutionize their field of study? I want them to be passionate and a little obsessive about their art/craft. I will teach them that through their creativity they will be closest aligned to God. As we create we become aligned with the creator--a communion of sorts.
They have taught me love. I am eternally grateful. mommy loves you. Always.

journal 1

2009-02-16T19:02:00.000-08:00

He wrote in the sky:
"These heavens could be your eyes;
If they were open"
[a haiku]

I am losing faith in humanity. Topics worthy of discussion are pushed aside to further our gluttony for entertainment. The news helps to perpetuate installments of fear and hate in half hour doses coated with "the new colors for the season." Our consumer driven economy mindset has revealed itself in other facets of life. We have become consumed by monotony. I am tired of dumbing down my beliefs into bite size ideologies. I hardly feel angry anymore. I allow individuals to live in their ignorance and contradiction because i choose not to be side tracked by their bullshit. I find my zen in the early mornings when the earth breathes loudest and the city sleeps quietest. my eyes are opening again. Ohm.

I know that there is nothing new under the sun, so i live guided by the mysteries of the moon.

this aint the staples center

2009-02-16T09:46:00.000-08:00

My mother has not seen me since July. In August i gave birth to a son. For you mathematicians out there, that makes him 6 months. A week or so ago i get a call from my mother. The usual conversation ensues. "how are you and the family?" "is it cold out there?" Then my mother asks me "so how much do you weigh?" Thinking i'm looking good for just having had a child not too long ago, I tell her, "i'm 135lbs." she gasps and tells me, "Wow you're fat." At this point i'm laughing and trying to explain to her the whole height to weight ratio. She isn't trying to hear any of it. She goes on to tell me how much she weighed when she had my brothers and i, and i'm somewhere else trying to figure out how to end this conversation. In the back of my mind i'm recounting all the times she could have given me a complex. I remember that this is the same woman that made me feel uncomfortable about my gumby smile, who told me to smile with my mouth closed for most of my adolescent years.

life lesson: parents breed complexes.

Magic.Unleashed.Sounds.In.Conjunction

2009-02-05T04:32:00.000-08:00

Me and hiphop have this open relationship. In the early nineties, he held me down [The pharcyde, souls of mischief...etc]. He had me open. When 98-2000 rolled around i fell in love with him again...the roots,blackstar,mos def, common all dropped an album around that time and Rawkus was that label that could do no wrong. At this moment i'm tired of searching through his bull shit to find gems. so i've been dipping out on him...lately my ears are stuck on a little group from sweden called little dragon. the lead singer [Yukimi Nagano] has one of the richest introspective voices i've heard in awhile. check it for yourself.

p.s. Hiphop--i haven't given up on you yet...just need a break.

quotable

2009-02-04T11:50:00.001-08:00

i came across this quote today and i thought i would share it with you all.

“There is no dishonor in being slaves. There is dishonor in being slave
owners. But let us not think of honor or dishonor in connection with the
past. Let us realize that the future is with those who would be truthful
pure and loving” — Mohandas K. Gandhi in a letter to W.E.B. Du Bois

let us all be more truthful, pure, and loving.
--peace

F=ma isn't it

2009-01-30T09:18:00.000-08:00

"happiness is a mediocre state for a middle class existence"--saul williams

I'm not in the mood for mediocre. I want something amazing to fill me and move me. lately i've been discussing "inspiration" with a few friends. As i have mentioned in a previous blog, i just haven't been feeling "it" lately...the "it" that causes your pen to speak forth words from the depths of the universe...the "it" that guides your colors to brush to canvas. that "it" is alluding me at the moment. and you can't force the "it".
[tag me it.]

and me, i'm like Einstein's chalk board, i'm drawn to geniuses.

here's a few things that widened the scope of possibilities.

theo jansen...genius.

blu...genius

[now find the genius in you and enjoy your weekend]

i dont have a clever title.

2009-01-24T17:10:00.000-08:00

"I'm an artist. When you tell people that they usually say, 'what's your medium?' I usually say, 'extra large.'"- Jean-Michel Basquiat

i'm in the mood to take a spray can and just write some quotes somewhere in the neighborhood. maybe something to make people think...maybe something to make people smile...maybe something people forgot.

maybe i should just start in the basement...

maybe i should stop all my maybes and take action.

maybe tomorrow.

another lazy saturday and a friend and i were discussing Yo Gabba Gabba.
and the fact that HipHop has officially made it to influence children's programing. my friend, who shall remain nameless, probably secretly enjoys this show more than his one year old nephew [who he claims is the reason why he watches this show]. But yo, i'm really hatin. kid's now a days have Biz beat of the day

and all i remember was growin up to this

6.99 to end your life

2009-01-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

Sniper rifle software launched for iPod touch

New BulletFlight program could be a 'killer' app for Apple

By Claudine Beaumont
Last Updated: 12:34PM GMT 21 Jan 2009

BulletFlight is a new application has been launched for the iPod touch to help gun users line up a clean shot at their target

A new application has been launched for the iPod touch to help gun users line up a clean shot at their target.

The BulletFlight app, which costs $6.99 to download from the iTunes store, has been developed by Runaway App to turn the iPod touch into a ballistics computer which the company says can provide “quick solutions in the field”.

Users can mount their iPod touch to their rifle, and then use the iPod’s touch-screen to tap in details about the wind conditions, ammunition type, distance to the intended target and even the wind speed.

“Unlike other apps, BulletFlight does not output information in table format,” says the application’s iTunes page. “What it does do is dynamically give you the solution you need now to take that shot.”

The application features built-in profiles for three weapons – the M110 semi-automatic precision rifle, the KAC PDW, and the 14.5in SR16 rifle – although users can add more weapons into the app.

“Environmental calculations are based on the Sierra Bullet model,” says the BulletFlight iTunes entry. “Up to five ballistic co-efficients with corresponding velocity thresholds may be used for each profile.”

BulletFlight is not the first shooting application for the iPhone and iPod touch – that honour goes to iSnipe – but it’s the latest in a long line of unusal apps for the devices, which have included simulated beer-pouring, a fart machine, and even “breathalysers”.

[i'm really disturbed by this...are they serious?]

p.s.

2009-01-22T08:45:00.001-08:00

They've renamed Love. said God is Love. they told us "let go and let GOD". now they've renamed God to the point where my name no longer matches his(?). i'm taking it back to the origin. "let go and let(s) Love"

"it's about time." time--a man made concept to measure life. life should be measured in love. love-unquantifiable. that's how i want to live.

okay it's a new day. snow is still on the ground...i'm still getting accustomed to this stuff. i figure it shouldn't deter me from going outside to face the world. it's so easy to just stay in the warm...but right now i feel adventurous....maybe i'll make a few mixtapes [CDs] and hand em out...save these people from being accosted by lil wayne...introduce them to the beauty of a break beat. i think i might be feeling a little inspired. we'll see how the day goes. ooh maybe i'll work on a mix and put it up for you all to download...would you like that? i'm in a loving mood [couldn't you tell from the above passage?]

well i hope you all have a wonderful day.

stop co-signin'

2009-01-19T13:11:00.000-08:00

I might be wrong for this, but right now i don't care. [i might regret what i say tomorrow]

YES we are about to have our first black president.
YES we are EXCITED about that
YES i voted for him.

But why are you? You didn't vote. You stay hating on Americans all the time. And now all of a sudden cause we got a new head of state you want to be down? Fuck you! I don't even know who's your president/prime minister. I doubt i'll be that excited about your elected leader...so you don't need to tell me.

WE [those who voted] made history. YOU didn't.

one day away.

2009-01-19T03:52:00.000-08:00

some time ago i wrote:

The short-changed masses have deliberately set out to gain some sense. We are not all artist but we have learned to draw our own conclusions in regards to how this government views its people. Its "white is right" regime reigns supreme over everyone...and our birth rights have been denied and renamed as death and taxes. tell me what is left? of this free world....because we would like a peace.
p.s.
Tomorrows mantra is today's revelation.

and today change is coming. tomorrow change will be here. :)

a return to me

2009-01-16T11:35:00.000-08:00

i sorta miss making stuff...getting my hands dirty with oils and pastels...
i just haven't been feeling inspired lately. been over analyzing what is and isn't. i've gotta return to zero[the beginning-the cipher] commune with the stars for a bit. internalize god. become the conductor of my own enlightenment...beating my mantras on drums to pattern the future. because there will be a time when time will bend on hollow knees vibrating the sanctity of now.

i drew a circle and started a revolution

my children need their mother to be more than ordinary. i need people to stop expecting me to be anything other than me. i'm not an artist, not a poet...i'm just trying my best to speak from my heart...to be honest...in every medium...i'm still learning and growing...

upgrade...

2009-01-12T10:50:00.001-08:00

aint just for computers no more. seems like this word has made it into everyday lexicon. i predict it will be the over used word of 2009. i've already come across a few blogs with this word woven intermittenly within its text. we need to retire the words swagger and boss. although i did find it humorous when Max B said "i look like a boss i smell like a boss and i taste like a boss" [dude is so arrogant i can't even get mad at him, he makes kanye look insecure]

On the topic of growing up. I think it was the apostle paul who said something like "When i was a kid i dressed as a kid...when i became an adult i dressed as an adult." [it might have been in the scriptures that King James threw out]

well i say that to tell you this. IF you are still rocking jerseys of your favorite sports figure out in public you really need to dead that. there are only 3 places jerseys should be worn

1. while you are playing that particular sport

2. at the sporting event of that particlar sport

3. at a tail gate party for a sporting event [yup you guessed it] of that particular sport.

*how do you wear a jersey in the cold of winter?

there are no excuses for a grown man [or woman] to put on an article of clothing that has some one else's name [in huge letters] on it. we all know you are not Lebron. DONE.

if you aint know

2009-01-10T07:35:00.000-08:00

you need to get acquainted with one of my favorites.

Marcia Jones - Artist from Chris Nzuriwatu on Vimeo.

just thinking...should i?

2009-01-09T05:47:00.000-08:00

my father holding me for a picture in a refugee camp

So it's been a few years [4 to be exact] since i've spoken to my father. He doesn't know where i reside, he doesn't have a number to reach me because i don't have any of those articles for him. But i wonder if this will be the year i send him an email or something and start to have a relationship with him. i've been thinking about this since my birthday [which was Nov 20 for future notice...and i accept belated gifts ;) ] and it always becomes more thought of around this time [mom's birthday].

I'm really debating wether or not i really want to get back in contact with him. My brother recently received a phone call from my father and he told me it was like ressurecting the dead, to hear a voice that has been non existant for so long.

I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons of this

Pros
I get a dad back in my life.
kids get to meet their grand father

Cons
i'm going to really have to come to grips with issues i have with him
i'm going to have to completely forgive him [i say i have but i mean it's easy to forgive when the person isn't around...because there are no actions to prove otherwise...this really isn't a con]
i'm going to have to hear it from my moms if/when she finds out i'm speaking with my father. [and it's not like the "Oh I hate your father" talk...she still loves dude after everything...which i have vowed will not be my case if that situation were to ever occur to me...sorry babe.]

okay so maybe i'm still not really ready. and i dont want my pops to think that i'm just getting in contact with him for monetary gain or to get a piece of his estate or any of that foolishness. I just miss having a dad...

west coast biased

2009-01-05T08:17:00.000-08:00

Flying lotus...aka fly lo...if you aint know...well now you know...you know...you know...

*if you an adult swim junkie you probably were already a fan of his beats

westsssssiiiideeeeeeeee!

J*davey ;)Show all

this was my most fav obama song. [feeling a little homesick today]

this christmas

2008-12-29T16:44:00.000-08:00

disclaimer: i'm not a big celebrator of Christmas [insert huey freeman's rant on christmas here] but i do love to cook and eat with loved ones.

I was getting ready to go to a Christmas get together on Christmas eve. I wasn't really looking forward to it for various reasons. To console myself i kept saying: it was an excuse to wear green [which so happens to be my favorite color :D] so i slipped on a green top, a tweed jacket, some jeans and some heels....ready to combat this season.

The kids and i arrive at the battlefield. Kahlil [my baby boy 4 months old] is being passed around like a specimen for scrutiny and observation. One girl says "isn't he mixed asian?". [i'm standing right behind her] and I say, "yes, i'm his mother. I'm right behind you." [and i'm a HUMAN being got damnit]. maybe i was just being way too sensitive...but you can't really blame me. I mean i was in the same environment where someone felt it was okay to say "Wow, you speak really good english" [another topic for another time]. I tell myself, "i'm here for the kids, it's okay...atleast you'll get some food out of it." I walk over to the table where the food is...and think to myself "is this it?" there was chicken, ham, and some smoked salmon with the kapers and other weird toppings for the salmon...so i played it safe and just went for the chicken.

Then there was a lady who tried to start up a conversation about the economy. At first it peeked my interest to hear something worthy of some discussion. until I ear hustled enough to hear that they were just skimming the topic. I overheard one person saying "there is no recession...did you see all the people in the malls...people are going to have a christmas even if they have no place to live the next day". [the optimist in me dies when i hear conversations like this...then i realize just the kind of people i'm dealing with out here in the sticks]

I was glad when we left because i still needed to do some christmas food shopping [refigerator was looking like an animal...it was bare]. My husband's cuzzo was coming upstate from the city. We were going to go food shopping when she got here. she got here about 30 after 10. we ran to the super walmart [because that's 24 hours--alegedly]. BUT they LIED! it was closed. so we scrambled over to the grocery store...where a convenient little sign was placed on the door stating, "we will be closed christmas day so that our employees can enjoy the holidays with their families." all i could think of was "aren't we in a recession...don't people need jobs...so why aren't they WORKING?!" I swear that stores aren't closed christmas day in cali...but we aren't in cali anymore...[booooooooooooooooooooooo]

Suspect?

2008-12-29T12:40:00.000-08:00

I know everyone is crazy about their iPhones. Well my friend was showing me the little shaking feature that it has for one of its apps. where you shake it and then it's suppose to find you a restaurant in the area you want. [that's a nice little feature...especially if you have a girl that is mad indecisive of where they would like to eat] but there's just something unsettling with me about the whole shaking your iphone thing. I don't think there's really a cool way to shake the thing. and depending on where you position the phone...the shake...might be mistaken for something else.

everytime you shake the iPhone....God kills kittens.

what makes my winter warm?

2008-12-22T13:51:00.000-08:00

[the view outside my window]

This is my first real winter [booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo]. fuck a white christmas! i want sun and sand and a skim board.

With the move to NY we sorta just stuffed what we could in the car and took off....so i took only a few items that were dear and near to me, these items mainly consisted of books [hi, have we met, i'm the cutest nerd you'll ever meet]. okay with that established...i had to leave a lot of my vinyls in cali :( [planning on getting them in the new year]
but today...is the start of my vinyl collection [post-cali] and what better way to start it off than with this heart shaped one right here.

so today...the weather might be a blistering 16 degrees but my heart is 33 1/3 to 45rpms ;)

shout out to Mr D.Keys for this one ;)

on the come up...only to come down

2008-12-17T07:30:00.000-08:00

when we moved into this house we set the laptop down turned it on, and to our surprise the little computer network icon on the lower right had a blue bubble on it--[woohooooooooooo] internet service. Since about September i have been bootlegging internet service from someone in the neighborhood who had a kind enough heart to check "unsecured". [KUDOS to them] i have an inkling it might be the Russians next door...one of these days i'm going to bake them some brownies and give em a bottle of vodka or something.

Now the service was iffy at times but lately i've been getting 3 bars...almost four, it was pretty fast, didn't take extravagantly long for my downloads and movie watching experiences on netflix...until yesterday. now i'm back down to one bar... now i'm still thankful, cause the shit is free. but i think that was the universe telling me, "yo your time has come, stop being such a lamo and get your own dsl." so today i took it upon myself to stop my bootlegging and order some dsl.

[they must have moved the wireless router hence why my signal is sooo non existent]

well here are my top three reasons for bootlegging internet services

1. it's free
2. it decreases global warming [think of it like carpooling]
3. you save a billion rainforest trees [since you're not getting the bill--which is printed on paper]

and i'm all about the environment ;)
but man i need that legitimate service...

abbra cadabra

2008-12-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

the seasons have yet to change
poetree
leaves
me
in love
and the earth
has refused to revolve
in hopes to maintain
an eternal summer
her summer has
become his
winter

how can i revolutionize this moment?
how do you collide heavenly bodies
without catastrophic outcomes?
these emotions
mere galaxies
set to play universe
act against physics
science isn't the answer
this defies logic
love
then
must be
magic.

honest.

2008-12-12T06:33:00.000-08:00

There was a time when i believed
our love would change the world
but it seams
that i have allowed
the world
to change
our love
and alter the fit
of my heart
there is no measure for this love
its pain is only matched by its intensity

don't ever

2008-12-10T17:37:00.000-08:00

So i'm watching purple rain...and hubby says "he sorta looks like michael jackson there"
[WAIT A MINUTE]
RULE No. 25
NEVER COMPARE PRINCE TO MICHAEL JACKSON!!!!!! EVER!!!!!
Okay i'm done

the children have spoken

2008-12-10T07:40:00.000-08:00

i have a love and fascination for cartoons and most things colorful [i.e. socks]. It might have started when i grew up watching voltron or robotech [on beta's my dude...what'cha know about that]...and it has since followed me throughout my adult life. there's just something magical about it, the whole giving life to a two dimensional object [i wonder if this is how the creator feels]...i respect the art. images have existed before language...there is something uterly sacred about it. I'm in awe of art. The ability to draw from the universe and produce something that never existed before the moment you put a brush to a canvas, a pen to some paper, a note to an instrument.

Well it's no wonder my daughter and i can sit and watch cartoons together...lately we've been watching

I've watched this cartoon with them a billion times and trust me the story never gets old. it's such a wonderful story [don't worry there's a dubbed english version].

*and i would like to think my daughter has great taste in movies...[amelie is one of her favorites]

And aside from feature film cartoons i stay watching cal arts cartoons... here's one of my faves

Yesszzzirrrr, i'm a cartoon addict...blame the 80s [pre-spongebob]

Friends how many of us have them...

2008-12-09T20:00:00.001-08:00

I've never really had to use a heater before, aside from one of those portable ones you just stick into a socket to warm a room. But i hear you should just set it on 68 or something like that [68 is an average Los Angeles winter day]...okay before i get depressed on this whole weather bit and tell you how great California is--it's just been these last few days that i have really missed [really really missed] my friends back home [home will always be california, los angeles county, long beach area] And it doesn't help that when i go to the grocery store every fruit is damn near from california.

Let me tell you about my move from Cali to NY. We drove...and i love road trips...took us a total of about 4 days. all the scenery though is out west. Once you leave colorado it's pretty much an endless sea of corn fields. Iowa has internet access at their rest areas and i will never take california freeways for granted ever again. I find that tolls are just everywhere out here...and the roads are a lot more bumpier. One night I was driving back from Queens to Mt. Vern and i took the wrong exit and realized i was going the wrong direction when i saw "welcome to New Jersey" luckily my crafty navigation skills and not the man at the gas station [who i couldn't understand] got me back on the right path. Good thing i had some bills on me for the toll on the George Washington bridge. [note to self: always carry a few extra bills when driving out east just incase you get misdirected (never lost)]

I have a question: do you still pay the toll if you're riding on a bike? i mean in california motorcycles get to use the carpool lane even though technically it's only one person on the bike.

Okay so back to my friends...i just realized that i've pretty much grown up with most of my friends. we're on some "i've known you since 1st grade" type shit...and now i have to start over. gotta find new friends. I'd like to believe that i'm a pretty solitary person, rather reserved and personal at moments...but you know sometimes you just want to interact with people. Maybe discuss some music or art. I need to get out, see what's out here in this small town...meet some folks who are on a love and peace type vibe. i guess i need to give this place a chance. But where do i start? ooh maybe i'll post something on craigslist. i was reading an article on msn about how craigslist is used for so much more than just getting cheap second hand stuff. [and all you guys out there i'm not talking about the "services" section either]

okay so i'm looking at the adds posted up already in the strictly platonic section
not too many choose from...i guess i really do live in the sticks.

a letter never sent

2008-12-08T07:46:00.000-08:00

Dear daddy,

I don't know where to begin, so I will begin at the end. You left on an ordinary day in January. It was a pretty uneventful day except now it is marked by your absence. Mom received a phone call from you mid day, you were in a Chicago airport. [was it O'hare or Midway?] she thought you had left for work...but you were actually leaving her.

It's been a few years now since I've spoken to you. I'm still hurt because you didn't just leave moms...you abandoned us. [Granted, we were all grown]

I have really been examining myself. As a child i would secretly wish you would leave and never come back. I would secretly cry every night and dread those moments when I was alone with you. In my naivety, I hated you. I hated that you never accepted me for me, I hated that you haunted my nightmares, I hated you deeply...but i was still your daughter. And parts of me still love you. The other day I felt guilty for missing you. As if to miss you was the highest crime against my sanity. As a child I was unable to voice my hurt my pains--I wasn't loud enough, I wasn't strong enough. But i have grown since then, I have learned since then, I am still alive--since then.

The love of a child towards their parent is rather unconditional. You must have underestimated this truth. You were my hero for years on end, even when your godlike image was crumbling. I have forgiven you, and have even grown to admire the fact that you sought your happiness above all else. I would hope that I could be so bold. But they always said that I was my father's child.

sincerely,
Asia-kismet

allow me to reintroduce myself...

2008-12-04T13:05:00.000-08:00

I need to get a rake like yesterday. I can't wait till the kids get older and i can trick them into thinking it's fun. And hopefully they'll be impervious to cold.

The great thing about moving to a new place is that you have the chance to reinvent yourself. What did i do to reinvent myself: I started this blog [wtf]. Okay, this blog is probably more a result of looming boredom and therapy than really a means to reinvent myself.

So this past thanksgiving, while everyone was spitting in the face of the indigenous people while stuffing their faces [ i digress... ] I was contemplating the audacity of certain individuals. So here's the story:

Hubby comes home from work. He says, "yo wifey, there's something i gotta tell you. you aint gonna believe this shit" And of course my inquisitive self is all ears after "there's something". He then continues to tell me how his boss and female coworker asked him if he could ask me....if i wanted to bellysmack, bump uglies, knock boots, [insert euphemisms here] with them. Oh and it didn't end there. they told him they were willing to pay. [What the fuck!!!!!!] [i am not your exotic version i'm gangstah cuhz 2008]. So my husband goes on to tell me how he didn't know how to react. How he was angry and calm at the same time. He just replied "you need to ask her yourself and she aint too fond of white people." [two words: exploitation and disease] [youtube dave chappelle how i got the lead in jeopardy def poetry]

Well after the initial shock

side note: a lot of things that semi shocked me have happened since i moved out here... 1. the whole snow and rain thing. 2. the older lady saying "oh you speak really good english" with a hint of surprise in her voice [think the boondocks season one first episode]....okay back to it.

so after the initial shock...i felt disrespected, angered, ready to kick down doors and get extra ignorant [but that's not how i roll]. Now my dilemma lies in the fact that if i see these individuals face to face i will not be able to put on a fake smile and offer them a cup o' tea. How the hell are you suppose to react to shit like this? And did i mention i felt mad disrespected...these folks better back the fuck off! I'm a pacifist mostly but i will swich ranks on occassion.

introduction

2008-12-03T18:41:00.000-08:00

hi there,

I'm a southern California native who just moved to upstate NY. I'm still in the process of getting acclimated to this thing they call "seasons". And from what I've seen and felt...it's overrated. I've recently experienced snow falling from the sky for the first time. And I know that might sound somewhat uneventful, it was actually a monumental moment for me. [and i never knew that rain and snow could fall from the sky at the same time].

Overall I guess this place isn't too bad, i.e. no lines at the DMV [and they're open on Saturdays] rent is mad cheap, and I get time to spend with the fambam. But there's a downside as well: there's absolutley nothing to do out here but kick rocks or go to little social gatherings like pumpkin fest [wtf] or whatever other fests they have to promote unity...but i'm going to give this place a chance [well I'm really trying to][really really trying to].

Well this is where it starts. Me trying to write down a few experiences, a few thoughts...maybe bring a little westcoast to the east.

"i'm west side anyway even if i left today and stayed away"--TI