inside out

I keep replaying those last moments. I remember standing with you on the balcony overlooking the water and boats docked near by. We shared a kiss. And i tried to memorize the moment. [As i always do.] Memorizing the position of the sun. Taking note of the breeze. Mapping the clouds. And the only memory that i can recall with clarity, is how everything faded into the warmth of our kiss.

on some real shit

it was easier when i didn't expect for you to love me. i was able to hide behind a shield, i was able to guard my heart. i am too vulnerable, too easily hurt now.

I question things. Have i over romanticized this relationship to a fault? and now that it is under close examination and scrutiny...are cracks being exposed?

i just want us to get along. i just want us to love without hesitation. i want us to just be.

shuffle

I put my cards on the table.
and walked away.
he asked me why i was leaving the game.
i said "i'm tired of playing hearts
and always losing."
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sigh