Monday, February 16, 2009

this aint the staples center

My mother has not seen me since July. In August i gave birth to a son. For you mathematicians out there, that makes him 6 months. A week or so ago i get a call from my mother. The usual conversation ensues. "how are you and the family?" "is it cold out there?" Then my mother asks me "so how much do you weigh?" Thinking i'm looking good for just having had a child not too long ago, I tell her, "i'm 135lbs." she gasps and tells me, "Wow you're fat." At this point i'm laughing and trying to explain to her the whole height to weight ratio. She isn't trying to hear any of it. She goes on to tell me how much she weighed when she had my brothers and i, and i'm somewhere else trying to figure out how to end this conversation. In the back of my mind i'm recounting all the times she could have given me a complex. I remember that this is the same woman that made me feel uncomfortable about my gumby smile, who told me to smile with my mouth closed for most of my adolescent years.

life lesson: parents breed complexes.


Ms_Slim said...

I definitely understand that. I am 5'9" and 128lbs (really small for my height but I guess it isnt so bad b/c of my chest? idk...) Anyway, my dad made me feel awkward as Hell about it because Im the tallest female on both sides of my fam, not to mention the 'smallest'. And Ive got full lips. My parents always felt like it was a good idea to call me 'plunger' and mommy encouraged....lip exercises...oy. Mom has full lips too...mine are just a little wider. I became ridiculously self-conscious about my height as my dad would say stuff like, "youre taller than every woman here" if we were in a densely packed place like a mall. Not to mention, all of my female friends were shorter than me by a long shot with the exception of three girl. It wasnt until I was about 17 and had done a little modeling that I became comfy with my height. I also stopped growing at 16 (due to prayer) and as for my lips....I got no complaints and when Mommy makes fun of their fullness again, I remind her of how beautiful I am despite her remarks.

"Parents just dont understand"....the weight of their words at times. So glad Im past the point of caring what they think now lol

Im sure you're beautiful regardless. Take those words with a grain of salt. :)

K-Dub said...

Awww Asia, you have a beautiful smile!

suga said...

Parents breed complexes. Well, aint that the truth. Most of my issues stem from my moms remarks over the years. They have less to do with the physical (it wouldn't make too much sense to clown someone who looks exactly like you, now would? lol), but other things, like not having enough confidence or never thinking I'm good enough, sprout from that woman never being satisfied with any of my accomplishments.
I saw Susan L. Taylor tonight and she spoke about having a mother who took care of her but never showed affection, which bothered her tremendously, but she said, "Parents do what they know how to do. It is our duty as children to love and forgive them before it's too late."
That definitely struck me.

LipstickOne said...

so true!!

i think they're thinking they want you to look the best...

Anonymous said...

This is quite unfortunate. But luckily, because of this, you will be quite a supportive mother, I'm sure.